Sunday 9 November 2014 by Spacey

UKIP poll reveals 100% of UK soldiers who died during conflict would definitely vote UKIP


UKIP polls the dead

A new UKIP poll conducted by populist mediums has revealed that 100% of UK soldiers who died during conflict are spinning in their graves and would definitely vote UKIP.

The poll’s findings are expected to increase calls within UKIP for votes in the afterlife.

“I never met my grandfather but I’m certain that he fought in the war so that I could strengthen my arguments by pointing out that he fought in the war,” said UKIP activist Miriam Jenkins from Cheltenham.

Mrs Jenkins also insists that it’s not just the UK’s war dead who should be handed the right to vote.

“Even my pets are showing signs of dissatisfaction with the LibLabCon troika,” she said.

“I had to put a pet cone on my springer spaniel’s head when he started chewing his tail because of barmy fishing quotas.”

UKIP support rising

UKIP leader Nigel Farage insists the news that he has the support of every fallen British soldier will come as a blow to David Cameron and Ed Miliband.

“How long will the assumed views of our war heroes be ignored by the establishment?” he asked reporters today.

“They gave their lives to stop fascists who exploited an economic disaster by scapegoating minority groups in order to further their own destructive agenda.”

“Lest we forget.”

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