Thursday 6 November 2014 by Neil Tollfree

Pyongyang claims Kim Jong-un recovery so spectacular he’ll soon be able to fly


Kim Jong Un flying

Pyongyang has revealed that Kim Jong-un’s legs have recovered at such an incredible rate, that he will soon be able to fly.

“The Dear Leader is literally the greatest human being who ever lived,” said a North Korean spokesman.

“His capacity for healing is beyond normal people. His legs have healed so brilliantly that he will be able to fly very soon.”

The controversial North Korean leader and friend of Dennis Rodman disappeared for six weeks, leading to speculation that he was seriously unwell.

“No, that is untrue,” continued the spokesman.

“He merely damaged his legs as an experiment to see how brilliantly they would heal.”

“Naturally, we all expected the legs to heal brilliantly, but I think the Dear Leader developing the ability to fly was beyond all our expectations.”

“Except the Dear Leader’s of course. Because he is brilliant.”

There is scepticism about the North Korean leader’s claims to be able to fly from Western scientists.

“No, I don’t think so,” said scientist John Greene.

“From an evolutionary point of view, for a human being to develop the ability to fly is simply impossible.

“Unless, evolution somehow works differently in North Korea.”

“Of course evolution works differently in North Korea,” replied the Pyongyang spokesman.

“It’s brilliant.”

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