Friday 24 October 2014

Middle-aged chimps observed buying small red sports cars


chimp mid-life crisis

As researchers discovered that chimpanzees and orangutans may undergo a form of ‘mid-life crisis’, the first reports of a chimp purchasing a small red sports car emerged.

The existential angst associated with ‘mid-life’ had always been believed to be a solely human trait, however images of orangutans in outfits clearly designed for much younger apes have now been published.

“Stonewashed jeans, a shirt open to his chest – what is he thinking?” asked one researcher upon seeing the photos.

“He looks like a slightly hairier Jeremy Clarkson. Only, you know, funnier.”

“And look at that middle-aged chimp in that red sports car over there, if I didn’t know better I’d think I was watching at a tea bag advert.”

Chimp mid-life crisis

Other identified symptoms include apes keen on having an affair, and others being overly nostalgic about the times ‘when they were young’.

“We’ve been watching for a while, and they seem to be a bit embarrassing to the other younger apes to be honest,” explained one researcher.

However 45 year-old chimp Simon Williams told us, “Oh, so it’s fine when I’m pushing a piano up the stairs for your entertainment, but I look to have a bit of fun on my own time and suddenly it’s a ‘crisis’.  Typical.”

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