Wednesday 22 October 2014

‘The Meek’ facing enormous Inheritance Tax bill


Meek Inheritance tax bill

The nation’s meek have been left shocked at the size of their potential Inheritance Tax bill, according to reports this morning.

After being informed of their likely imminent inheritance of ‘the earth’, early indications are that the tax bill could be as high £20 trillion should they inherit during this tax year.

The government has welcomed the report, claiming that getting twenty trillion pounds from the meek is much easier than closing a few tax loopholes which allow businesses in the UK to avoid billions in tax each year.

Chancellor George Osborne explained, “The Exchequer welcomes the news of this potential windfall, it certainly helps with a few sums I’ve been juggling.

“For example, with this cash injection we’ll be able to spend much more on programmes designed to cut the benefits of poor people.

“So it won’t be wasted, you can rely on that.”

Meek inheritance bill ‘huge’

Those facing the inheritance tax bill have spoken of their abject horror at the possibility.

Library worker Simon Williams told us, “I don’t get it – I’m earning just above minimum wage, so I’ve no idea where I’m going to find twenty trillion pounds. It sounds like an awful lot of money for someone like me?

“I didn’t ask for it, but apparently it’s in some two-thousand-year-old will and testament from someone I don’t even know.

“Some bloody gift that is, lumbering me with more debt than an entire continent. Thank you very bloody much.

“I mean, I just keep to myself and go about my business not bothering anyone, I don’t see how I can be in so much debt now?

“That said, it’s not like I’ll complain about it to anyone, that’s just not in my nature.”

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