Tuesday 21 October 2014

Paralysed man walks again, is declared fit for work by ATOS


Paralysed man walks again, ATOS declares fit for work

A formerly paralysed man has celebrated the success of a pioneering therapy with an ATOS mandated appointment at the jobcentre.

Darek Fidyka, who was paralysed from the chest down in a knife attack in 2010, can now walk using a frame and can therefore do just about any job going, according to his latest ATOS assessment.

The treatment involved transplanting nasal cells into his spinal cord, and letting them regrow nerves which directly reduces benefit payments.

The successful treatment – a world first – has been hailed as a goldmine by ATOS who insist disability benefits could soon become a thing of the past.

An ATOS spokesperson told us, “Disability benefits are the genuine claimants only, not for those lazy buggers who have had their spinal cord severed and then repaired to the extent they can walk with the frame.”

“People will point to his potentially lengthy rehabilitation programme, but I would say that’s what his evenings and weekends are for.”

“Monday to Friday, nine to five, he’s got to find a job, or a least a zero hours contract that looks like a job.”

Paralysed man walks again

Darek himself spoke of his joy at regaining some use of his legs, and how he is looking forward to his hastily arranged interview to be a postman over the Christmas period.

He told us, “I got a lovely letter from ATOS informing me that a severed spine was no longer considered a ‘disability’, and that I should start booking job interviews – which was nice.”

“I asked for something where I could at least sit down, but they told me beggars can’t choosers, and reminded me that I’ve surely got plenty of shoes that have hardly been used.”

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