Wednesday 15 October 2014

Prof Brian Cox to unravel mysteries of automated customer service systems


Professor Brian Cox

The unfathomable mysteries behind most automated customer service systems are at the heart of Professor Brian Cox’s new television project, it has been revealed today.

The television physicist said that unravelling the mysteries of the universe could only be achieved one step at a time, and that the complexities behind most automated customer service systems intrigued ‘the scientist’ in him.

He told reporters, “In my new show we’ll be talking about a series of numbers and options that to the naked eye bear no resemblance to any mathematical or logical system known to humankind.”

“What at first looks relatively straight forward soon descends into chaos, often leaving the uninitiated back where they began and none the wiser.”

“In much the same way a cosmic wormhole could result in you ending up where you began, only with everything around you having got a lot older, the same is true of automated customer service telephone systems.”

“I am hoping my new series will draw parallels to travel in time and space that will advance human knowledge into areas we can not currently comprehend.”

Automated telephone systems

The new show has been welcomed by viewers excited to learn where many lost hours of their own have disappeared to.

Cox went on, “Clearly there is an ordered system at play here, but learning how it works is akin to discovering the Higgs Boson – really fucking difficult. I hope to simplify it for my viewers during the series.”

“I am sure it will take a mind greater than my own to finally unravel this mystery completely, but I hope to begin the journey that might one day result in a consumer managing to talk to a real fucking human being once in a while.”

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