Thursday 2 October 2014 by Liam Shipton

Fighter thrown out of ISIS for not following Health & Safety policy


Islamic health and safety

A member of Muslim extremist group ISIS has been asked to leave the organisation due to ‘continual disregard of the Health & Safety at Work Act’.

Abdul Rafi, 27, is said to have constantly ignored the Health and Safety rules of his workplace, calling them ‘stupid’.

A spokesperson for the terrorist group has said that Mr. Rafi would handle dangerous chemicals without wearing the correct protective clothing, smoke cigarettes in clearly marked non-smoking areas, and even do the washing up without putting on rubber gloves.

“It’s just dangerous, do you have any idea how many chemicals are in Fairy Liquid? Imagine the damage that it could do to your skin.”

“If his skin were to react badly then ISIS would be liable for that. We have these rules for a reason.”

ISIS Health & Safety

In a statement released today, Rafi said that the rules were “bloody ridiculous”, and that it’s “Health and Safety gone mad”.

He has no intention of attempting to rejoin the extremist group and is said to blame “those bureaucrats in Brussels”.

Rafi’s supervisor Saeed Haleem made a statement today via the terrorist organisation’s Facebook page, “Tbh [sic] we’re glad he’s gone. Abdul wasn’t well liked here.”

“He always turned up late (and hung-over), he never pitched in whenever we got somebody a birthday cake and frankly, a lot of his jokes were very racist and inappropriate for the workplace”.

Rafi is currently on the lookout for a new job, hoping to get something in the food service industry.

“I’m very passionate about customer service, that’s why I think ISIS wasn’t for me.”

“With them it was all ‘down with the West’ this and ‘death to the Infidels’ that… I’m more of a people person at heart.”

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