Friday 26 September 2014

Struggling Van Gaal still feeling the weight of expectations left by Moyes


Louis Van Gaal

Manchester United fans have claimed the appointment of new manager Louis Van Gaal as the worst in the clubs history, as he fails to live up to the high expectations set by his predecessor David Moyes.

The Reds have endured a difficult start to the season, with games against the league’s big boys Burnley and Leicester.

New boss Van Gaal claims his plucky underdog side do have the ability to drag themselves out of a relegation battle and all they need is a bit of fortune.

But that ship may have already sailed, as earlier this month, on the 13th September, was an incredibly wise day: International Fortune Cookie Day. This delicious biscuits of clairvoyance are normally seen as a symbol of good luck, but a source close to the club says the deranged Van Gaal is forcing his players to crack the cookies open every day in a bid to haul them out of the danger zone.

To celebrate the day, Gala have complied a list of some of the funniest fortune messages that have ever been cracked open. Van Gaal may be a newcomer to the league, but he isn’t the first to be suffering hilarious misfortunes.

Manchester City Legend Steven Gerrard

With Liverpool in prime position to lift the Premier League title for the first time in two decades, captain, leader and inspiration Stevie G gave his troops the rallying call of “WE MUST NOT LET IT SLIP” after seeing off a plucky former Division 2 side Manchester City. But oh the irony, as under-cover agent Stevie was in fact the sabotage. The following week he theatrically slipped, playing the perfect through ball to Demba Ba who smashed the ball in. Liverpool lost the game, lost the title and Manchester City saw “Gerrard” shirt sales shoot through the roof.

Ghost of Players-Past Haunt Mourinho

After ruthlessly throwing out resident OAP’s Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole, Jose Mourinho heralded it as a new start for Chelsea and invested in young blood to help bring the glories days back to the plastic club. But old Frank wasn’t done yet, and signed 6 month deal with fellow plastic club Manchester City. And the rest writes itself. Lampard single handily pulled City from the ashes when their backs were against the wall and slayed his former employee with a goal. AND two weeks before Old man Samuel Eto’o used is mature physic to poke one past them for Everton. Many have questioned Mourinho’s leadership capabilities, but the misfortune in flogging Lampard leaves him on par with Nick Clegg.

The Post That Saw Too Much

It was a cold, October’s afternoon in 1998 and the goal post stood as an on-looker as Liverpool played Chelsea at Anfield. But then an event took place that scared it sheet white and haunted it for the rest of its life. Calamity David James comes rushing out of his box to meet Pierluigi Casiraghi, shows his vintage skills by getting caught in no-man’s land, the Chelsea forward shoots and scores. But one Phil Babb made the most heroic of attempts to stop the goal. He flung himself to the ground, slid as fast as he could and ended up with two legs either side of the post. He lay there, with his crown jewels caressing the post. The misfortune of Babb’s private injury, and the lifelong nightmare for the goalpost, makes it the most unlucky event on an English football field.

When you have a read through of that list, there is no question that those poor unfortunate people really need a little bit of luck in their lives; let’s just hope they didn’t get some of the more unorthodox messages Gala listed.

Just remember Louis, at least Moyes lasted a couple of months.

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