Thursday 25 September 2014 by Gary Stanton

iPhone 6 Plus performing badly in hammer stress tests, complain morons


iPhone 6 bending

The iPhone 6 is so poorly made it is unable to withstand a sustained hammer attack without breaking apart, numerous twats have concluded this morning.

Arseholes with too much money to spend are dismayed with the poor reception their phones give after a prolonged hammering either by a hammer or a set of clumsily located arse cheeks.

Social media is rife with photos of iPhone 6 owners who have attempted to destroy their phones only to be dismayed at their apparent success in doing so.

Apple spokesman Simon Williams said, “Despite the extortionate price tag, iPhone 6 performance deteriorates significantly the more you smash them with a heavy blunt object.”

“Such as a hammer.”

“It’s much like the iPhone 5 and every other previous model in that respect.”

iPhone user Steve England said, “iPhone 6 fails to maintain a signal when I throw it against a wall and then repeatedly stamp on it.”

“If I recall correctly, the iPhone 4S suffered similar issues when I threw it under a passing tube train.”

“These are serious design issues. You’d think Apple would have learnt their lessons by now.”

“It’s a disgrace.”

Apple’s Williams added, “The iPhone 7 will be made from graphene, an invincible type of carbon just one atom thick.”

“Still, I’m sure some of you will find a way of fucking even that up.”

“And then posting a photograph of it on Twitter, obviously.”

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