Thursday 28 August 2014

Our society is still far too egalitarian, complain Oxbridge graduates


Oxbridge Advantage elitism

There are still far too many opportunities for people who went to comprehensive schools, according to a report commissioned by graduates of Oxbridge.

The study showed that despite attending schools that don’t charge a fee, and going to a University that was once known as a ‘Polytechnic’, hundreds of adults are still ‘succeeding’ in life.

Senior civil servant Simon Williams told us, “What is the point in spending all this money on an education if the guy who went to Leicester Poly has as much chance of getting the job as I do.

“Don’t people realise I’ve paid good money for this advantage – well, my parents actually paid it, but the point remains.

“If we’re going to start giving the jobs to the best person, regardless of where they went to school or who their parents are, then we might as well burn down Eton and go and live in North Korea.

“My advantages in life were bought and paid for, fair and square, and it’s not right that society’s plebs are being given the chance to succeed having spent bugger all.

“Before long, being a rich moron will be of no advantage whatsoever. Who will be Foreign Secretary then?”

Williams went on to explain that discrimination works both ways, with many of society’s opportunities not open to him and his friends, just because of where they went to school.

He concluded, “They still have plenty of opportunities I don’t have, obviously. I mean, when was the last time you saw an Oxbridge graduate interviewed by Jeremy Kyle, eh?

“Q.E.D.”

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