Wednesday 27 August 2014 by Formelia Alberthine

David Moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit


David Moyes Laughing fit

Former Manchester United Scotsman, David Moyes, is reportedly under intensive care in a Glasgow hospital after a prolonged fit of laughing left his life in serious danger.

Glasgow Royal Infirmary confirmed a 51-year-old man was admitted at around 10pm on Tuesday evening suffering with breathing complications.

“We received an emergency call at around 9.30pm reporting a man rolling around in convulsions of laughter which were preventing him from breathing properly,” a hospital source told us.

“A witness stated that the symptoms had started at approximately Saturday afternoon last week and had gotten progressively worse until reaching a critical point last night.”

“We understand the man had been undertaking his usual routine of sitting down to watch the televised football coverage, and at this stage we believe this to be the cause of the debilitating fits of laughter.”

Moyes hospitalised

A neighbour of Moyes, said he saw the unemployed manager receiving CPR in the front lawn of his garden, having earlier been seen skipping around it in a what appeared to be a home-made MK Dons home kit.

The neighbour told us, “He was singing ‘We’re going Dutch, We’re going Dutch,’ to the tune of ‘On the Ball’ by Ant and Dec.”

“It was quite a sight.”

A family friend of Moyes claimed he was hopeful of a return to football in the near future, eyeing a potential vacancy in the North-West region of England.

“There’s a rumour the Man United mascot is being relieved of his duties for failing to inspire.”

“David is confident his current demeanor brings a level of Bonhomie not seen at Old Trafford for quite some time.”

“Watch this space.”

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