Wednesday 30 July 2014

‘A bit shit’ is Jamaican patois for ‘awesome’, clarifies Usain Bolt


Usain Bolt Commonwealth games

Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has moved swiftly to clarify that comments describing the Commonwealth games as ‘a bit shit’ were actually a term of endearment.

Bolt told reporters that he thought the Commonwealth games were a bit shit, before realising that words coming out of his mouth often make it into newspapers.

He spoke to reporters this morning to clarify his comments, explaining, “I’m forever calling things ‘a bit shit’. My breakfast was a bit shit this morning, or delicious as I think you might say.”

“I can see how you might have taken my comments as derogatory, now that someone has explained that ‘a bit shit’ means ‘a bit shit’ over here in Scotland.  Easy mistake to make, I’m sure you’ll all agree.”

“Everything over here is brilliant, and I can’t wait to do some running in whichever event it is I think I might be bothered to have a go at.”

Bolt on Commonwealth games

Bolt continued, “I love the Commonwealth games, and all of the things that it stands for, and I can’t wait to get out onto the track to take on the Americans, Russians and Chinese.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh.”

“And what do I think about the other sprinters here? Oh, they really are a bit shit.”

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