Monday 28 July 2014 by Gary Stanton

Gaza victims urge Tulisa to ‘stay strong’


Tulisa

Victims of indiscriminate shelling in Gaza have offered their unanimous sympathy to the tormented former N Dubz star Tulisa Contostavlos.

As families picked the broken bodies of loved ones from the rubble, they were confronted by the all-too-familiar images of their X factor idol being dragged through the courts yet again.

Just as Gaza citizens have spent the past weeks being hounded by Israeli tanks, the R&B beauty has spent much of the last year being hounded by the merciless fangs of the British justice system.

The N Dubz singer said, “There was a really low point. I was so low, so far away from where I am now (Croydon), that I felt like I was possessed by someone else,”

“Possibly Dappy.”

“I was so weak that I didn’t have an ounce of strength left in me,” added the 26 year-old tunesmith, who could barely muster enough energy to twat some bloke at a music festival.

Tulisa’s ordeal

Meanwhile, the few surviving Gaza residents have had a whip round and have come up with just enough cash to pay Tulisa’s £3020 in legal costs.

“I defy anyone to go through what that girl has gone through and come out of it relatively unscathed,” said Akram Si Willyamsi removing a piece of shrapnel from his teeth.

“If I have one message for Tulisa it is ‘stay strong’,” added Willyamsi’s former neighbour Abdul Al Katari as waded through the rubble of what was once his house.

“First the blow job, then the cocaine sting and now the assault. All of these things were no doubt exacerbated by having a difficult to pronounce surname.”

Tulisa responded, “No one has any idea what it’s like to have the intimate details of your life picked over by Fleet Street vultures.”

“Those people in Gaza should get some fucking perspective.”

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