Tuesday 1 July 2014 by Yikes

Owning guns and shooting people doesn’t make Pistorius crazy, insist NRA


The Court-ordered report concluding that Oscar Pistorius was suffering no mental disorder has been welcomed by the National Rifle Association who claim it is insane not to own lots of guns to defend yourself.

The NRA issued a statement welcoming the findings of the Pistorius sanity check.

It read, “That the Court ordered a report into Pistorius’ sanity was crazy, but we are pleased they now accept that owning lots of guns and using them where necessary is perfectly normal behaviour, like drinking bourbon and voting for Sarah Palin.”

“People need to remember that without guns, it is impossible to defend your home against intruders, or what we call like to call ‘brown people’.”

“That pizza deliverer or motorist who has broken down that appears at your doorstep may seem harmless enough but they could easily be intending to shoot your children – if this happened you would no longer be able to accidentally shoot your own children first.”

NRA defends Pistorius findings

NRA spokesperson Jeb Carson said people who criticized Pistorius for shooting girlfriend Reena Steenkamp needed to live in the real world, a world full of guns that would make everyone safe.

“People jump to conclusions but for all we know Reeva may actually have been an intruder – while to all appearances she seemed a slight, blonde woman on the outside, she could have been a black person in disguise.”

“She could have been a black man intent on killing all that was dear to Oscar – his girlfriend asleep beside him.”

“How insane would it be to let that happen?”

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