Thursday 26 June 2014

Wonga customers to pay debts with made-up currency


After Wonga was found guilty of chasing debts with made-up legal firms, their customers have said they should expect repayments made with made-up money.

The  Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), said the payday lender had lied to customers to intimidate them into paying.

A spokesperson for the FCA said, “I’m sure you’ll all be utterly shocked to hear that a payday lender has been found guilty of shady business practises.”

Wonga customer Simon Williams told us, “I borrowed £60 from them last week, and made a payment of 100 Grand Wildeboons this morning, which I think you’ll find clears my debt in its entirety.”

“You don’t need to know about the validity of the Grand Wildeboon currency, just that it carries about the same legal weight as Wonga’s legal representatives.”

“To the untrained eye this looks like a sheet of A4 with the words ‘1oo Grand Wildeboons’ written in green crayon, but I assure you it is legal tender.”

“I have this letter saying so – a letter printed on the letterhead of the National Bank of Wildeboon, so it must be true.”

Wonga lawyers

Customers who received the letters have asked when the clearly deserved criminal charges will be brought against the firm.

As one former customer explained, “I’m no lawyer – much like Wonga’s debt recovery team – but I’m pretty sure this is fraudulent representation, and possibly an attempt to obtain money with menaces.”

“I look forward to the day someone does some prison time. Obviously.”

“On the bright side, I’ll get my £50 compensation, which backdated six years at Wonga’s standard interest rate of 5000% pa means I’m owed a couple of billion and I’m now shopping for a premier league football club.”

“Which is nice.”

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