Tuesday 17 June 2014 by O. Keating

Phil Neville may provide the key to beating insomnia, claim doctors


Phil Neville insomnia cure

A team of doctors conducting research into the effects and treatment of long-term insomnia, at St Mary’s Hospital, London, have announced Phil Neville-related breakthrough in the treatment of the condition.

Insomnia is a debilitating disorder, which can lead to a raft of other problems and affects as many as 50% of the world population at some time or another.

Treatments usually involve changes in diet and lifestyle, taking sleeping tablets or various kinds of therapy, but these have been found to have a relatively low success rate.

The treatment developed by the experts at St Mary’s involves listening to football commentary by Phil Neville.

Dr. Michael Rogers, a clinical specialist at St Mary’s, told us how the breakthrough was made.

“I’d been catching up on some paperwork in my office, when I decided to put on Match of the Day. I don’t remember much, but I awoke the next morning, feeling more refreshed than I had for several years.”

After investigating further, Dr Rogers isolated the source of his sleep as the former Manchester United player’s punditry, and clinical trials were hurredly carried out.

Insomnia cure

When compared to patients who have been given a sleeping tablet, a course of sleep therapy or a recording of Alan Titchmarsh to listen to, the ‘Neville Programme’ was found to be 500% more effective than the previous most-effective treatment – with almost no side effects.

“One out of every twenty subjects experienced mild nausea after the first night” explained Dr Rogers.

“But they were all Liverpool supporters.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: