Wednesday 11 June 2014

Black cabs busy winning ‘hearts and minds’ by grinding London to a halt


Uber protests in London

Black cab drivers across the capital have insisted they are winning the war for the hearts and minds of Londoners by making travel across the city even harder today.

The protest, against cab booking service Uber, comes because Londoners finally have an alternative to paying through the nose to someone who refuses to go ‘south of the river at this time of day mate’.

Black cab driver Simon Williams told us, “It’s not fair, we’ve had it our own way all this time making lots of money off Londoners, and so it should definitely stay like that.”

“When things change, they tend to change, and I don’t like things changing. I don’t care about technology and innovation, obviously.”

“How dare Uber be allowed to charge a lot less than us. It’s an absolute outrage!”

“We will show London’s cab users how important we are to them by stopping all cars getting around London.”

“That will make them love us again, definitely.”

London Uber protest

Uber user James Matthews explained, “If Black cabs are so convinced of their importance to Londoners, they should all agree to take the same day off and see how London survives without them? Just an idea – you know, instead of deliberately making it more difficult for everyone.”

Other cab users in the capital have said the protest really has helped them see black cab drivers in a new light.

Londoner Dave Shelling told us, “I’d always thought of black cab drivers as surly monopolists constantly looking for ways to rip me off.”

“But thanks to this protest I now realise they’re also quite spiteful. Which is nice.”

“So thanks to Uber, here I am sat in the back of an air-conditioned mercedes not paying any more for my trip just because the journey is going really slowly, all thanks the black cab protest.”

“What an excellent way to make your point, cabbies.”

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