Wednesday 11 June 2014

Bidding underway for broadcast rights to ‘Boris Johnson being hit by water cannon’


Boris Johnson vs Water Cannon

After London mayor Boris Johnson told LBC radio that he was willing to be fired upon by a water cannon to prove its safety, bidding for the spectacle began in earnest.

Johnson has come under fire after agreeing to buy three water cannons before the Home Secretary has even approved their use, against a backdrop of calls claiming they are unsafe for use on the public.

However Mayor Johnson told LBC, “I think it’s much easier to think of water cannons as simply super-friendly tank-mounted super soakers.”

“They are perfectly safe, and as such, yes, I’m happy to be hit with one to illustrate just how safe they are.”

The offer has seen television channels and sporting event promoters frantically preparing bids for an event they are confident will sell out and make them millions.

Promoter Frank Warren told us, “We should do it at Wembley stadium, and charge £100 a ticket – trust me, people will pay it.”

“We could also do it as a pay-per view on Sky Sports – it’ll make Froch vs Groves II look like an Adam Sandler movie on Sky Box Office.”

Boris and the water cannon

The BBC has been urged to make a bid, with licence fee payers saying they would much rather watch Boris Johnson knocked flat on his arse by a high velocity jet of water delivered at twenty litres per second, than more ‘bloody golf and snooker’.

As one such licence fee payer explained, “When I think of the money the BBC is wasting showing the World Cup over the next month or so, I can’t help but think showing Johnson vs Water Cannon would be a much better use of my money?”

“It should be free-to-air, and something the entire country can enjoy.”

“It will be the political event my generation talks about for the next fifty years.”

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