Tuesday 10 June 2014 by Gary Stanton

Tesco to launch ‘Trojan Horse’ burger range


Trojan Horse burger from Tesco

Global food juggernaut Tesco is to launch an all-new Trojan Horse burger range that is fully Halal compliant.

Retailing at just £1.99 for a pack of four, the delicious-tasting treats promise “the instant Islamification of meal times”.

After performing well in trials, the burgers are shortly to be rolled out to schools across the length and breadth of the West Midlands.

Tesco insist they are under pressure from other Halal retailers and are being forced to operate in what, essentially, is a cut-throat market.

Tesco spokesman Simon Williams said, “At half the price of our normal meat products, these burgers challenge the equine diner with a radical new flavour.”

Tesco Trojan Horse burgers

Meanwhile, Tesco has reacted angrily to suggestions that it is neglecting its traditional Christian fan base.

The supermarket chain has pledged to release a “one hundred percent beef” burger timed to coincide with next year’s Grand National.

Williams added:

“We’re proud to announce the follow-up to our Trojan burger, which is designed to appeal to Anglican-type palates on a budget.”

“They’re guaranteed to saviour money,”

“Hung like a Tesco meat product”

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