Monday 9 June 2014 by Gary Stanton

Birmingham school teacher insists field trip to Syria ‘a huge success’


Golden Hillock school’s Head of Geography believes Year Five’s trip to Aleppo has been hugely beneficial, it has emerged.

Mohammed Ashraf planned the trip last September so that Class 5H would gain a valuable insight into the harsh realities of dairy farming on the Aleppo plain.

The 43 year-old insists that when pupils were given a choice between Dudley Safari Park and the war-torn hellhole, most of them opted for the latter.

However, the inspirational teacher has faced criticism from parents and the Education Secretary after only five of the thirty-strong class returned alive.

Ashraf said, “It was important for pupils to compare and contrast dairy farming in a region where very little grass grows with an area such as Cheshire, which has a surplus of cows.”

“That they did this under sustained bombardment from the murderer Assad and his henchmen is a testament to the hard work they’ve put in throughout the year.”

“We’ll also be covering glaciation, sanitation and oxbow lakes.”

“I’d expect the ones who survived to perform very well in the GCSE this summer, God wiling.”

Extremism in schools

Ashraf has since conceded that he may have “taken the Islamic focus too far” after three mischievous boys successfully brought down a government helicopter with a mobile rocket launcher.

“I have spoken to the boys concerned and their parents have been informed,” he told us.

Meanwhile, the unrepentant teacher has ignored calls from Michael Gove to explore the positive role that Christianity has had on sheep farming in the Lake District.

He added, “Next year’s trip is to downtown Baghdad where we’ll be assessing the devastating impact that the infidel has wrought on the local car industry.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: