Friday 23 May 2014 by Roy Bland

‘They’re still out there’ plea as hopes fade for the Lib Dems


Lib Dems sunk without trace

Friends of the Lib Dems are urging people not to abandon hope that the party may still be alive ‘somewhere out there’ despite reports that it sank without trace in the early hours of Friday morning.

With sightings of a bouyant Lib Dem party increasingly scarce, the are now concerns that they may be lost for good.

Indications are that the Lib Dems began to take on water somewhere between Kingston-upon-Thames and Brussels, before all contact was lost sometime around 2am last night.

As concerned voter Simon Williams told us, “They are experienced politicians, obviously, but things like this can sneak up on the best of them, and leave them completely blind-sided.”

“We don’t really know what happened, except to say that one minute they were right there on our radar – and the next they’d gone completely.”

“We’re trying to arrange a search party, but we’re painfully thin on volunteers. Don’t suppose you…no, I didn’t think so.”

Lib Dems missing in action

Now the inquest is set to focus on the performance of the captain, who many observers believe had been steering in the wrong direction since approximately 2010.

“The captain has to take some of the blame, obviously,” continue Williams.

“But then who would trust a captain that sails in whichever way the wind is blowing on that particular day?”

“Our biggest fear is that by Sunday the Lib Dems will have disappeared beneath the waves for good,” he concluded.

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