Thursday 22 May 2014 by Roy Bland

UKIP voters determined to overcome challenge of drawing an ‘X’


UKIP voters

UKIP voters are going all out to make sure they can draw a cross correctly on their ballot papers today.

With the polls open, and morons everywhere keen to vote for the acceptable face of racism, the challenge is on to ensure their vote is placed correctly.

“I’ve been practising for weeks,” said UKIP supporter Fred Blackstone, 67.

“I don’t want it get it wrong and lose Nigel a vote.

“It’s been a struggle, I’ll admit. Did you know an ‘X’ is the same even when you write it in foreign? Disgusting.”

UKIP voting begins

Farage is said to be worried that many of his supporters may find the challenge of drawing a cross on their ballot papers too much, resulting in spoiled papers.

And many UKIP voters face the daunting prospect of having to cast a vote for both local and European candidates.

“I can manage one cross,” said Mr Blackstone, “but I’m not sure about a second. That’s a big one.”

Percy Wilson, 58, said he is determined to get it right on Thursday because at the last general election he ‘messed up’ and his vote was disallowed.

“I don’t know what I could have been thinking of,” he said, “but instead of a cross, I went and done a swastika instead.”

Non-UKIP supporter Simon Williams said he’d been countering the UKIP vote outside his polling station by telling UKIP supporters to put a cross next to any name that sounded a ‘bit foreign’.

“I told them it was the only way to ‘stop them getting into power’ – to have to ‘cross’ them out. Otherwise, the EU wins.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s about as honest as everything else UKIP has done,” he admitted.

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