Monday 19 May 2014

Everyone admits they’d be concerned if UKIP supporters moved in next door


UKIP next door

Everyone has today admitted that the idea of UKIP supporters moving in next door gives them severe cause for concern.

The news is sure to spark criticism of everyone for pre-judging those who just want to live in the house next door, but many have explained ‘that’s just the way it is I’m afraid’.

Terraced home owner Simon Williams told us, “Oh God no, I mean, I wouldn’t admit it out loud in public, that would seem awful and I’m not an idiot – but of course I’d hate the idea of UKIP supporters moving in next door.”

“They’re awful people, you only have to look at the news, the statistics and so on.”

“I guess that intellectually I do know that they’re just ordinary people, trying to make their way in the world – but frankly I don’t trust them or their kind.”

“And neither should you.”

“You might say it’s wrong to tarnish an entire community based on the behaviour of a few members, but I’ve seen enough racist, homophobic and sexist behaviour from that lot to want them to stay well clear of me and my loved ones.”

“I’m not saying every UKIP member is a racist homophobe, I’m just saying I’d prefer not to live next to one.”

UKIP next door

Williams went on, “No, I’ve never met an actual UKIP supporter, but from what I’ve read in the papers and seen on the news I can only imagine it would be like a constant KKK rally round there, with no gays allowed.”

Online UKIP supporters have rounded on Williams, telling him he has no idea what he’s talking about.

Having read the comments, Williams responded, “Oh, so you think it’s unfair of me to tarnish your entire community like that?”

“Now there’s a shock.”

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