Friday 9 May 2014 by Formelia Alberthine

Nintendo’s Super Mario comes out as UKIP supporter


Super Mario UKIP

After Nintendo confirmed it will not allow gay characters in its life-simulation game Tomodachi Life, Super Mario has declared his allegiance to UKIP.

The plumber said his Italian upbringing means he has many far-right sympathies, and he offered his support to his employer’s decision to exclude gay-game-play from the title, despite his familiarity with pipes.

“I would strongly urge the British population to vote in favour of UKIP,” he told Gaming publication, INteract.

“Their fears for the well-being of a humanity exposing itself to the ills of sexual relations amongst the same sex is a genuine one, and one only UKIP candidates seem willing to speak about.”

“My employers  made the decision to remove such homosexual behaviour from its latest life-simulation, and as such we consider ourselves UKIP friendly.”

“I mean, if we included gay characters, then where do we go next? Animals? Fictional beings given human traits? It’s abhorrent.”

“Anyone who thinks that my allegiance to UKIP is to do with Polish plumbers coming over here and doing a better job than me and for less money than I charge, is definitely wrong.”

Nintendo gay ban

Gay-gamer, Simon Williams, said the Italian’s stance had ruined what was an otherwise joyous childhood directing the character to comply with his instructions in games such as ‘Super Mario Kart’.

“Had I have known then that this man would end up as a UKIP voter, I would most definitely have been more inclined to lean towards ‘Sonic the Hedgehog.”

“He’s Lib-Dem?”

“Eeeuw – that’s so disgusting.”

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