Wednesday 7 May 2014

Man City to pay UEFA fine after quick look down back of stadium sofa


Manchester City UEFA fine

The billionaire owners of Manchester City have raised the £50m needed for their UEFA fine after a quick rummage down the back of their sofa.

The fine comes after they breached financial fair play rules, by exploiting their massive wealth to gain a competitive advantage in domestic and european competition.

However club officials have said that they will pay the UEFA fine for exploiting their massive wealth by exploiting their massive wealth.

A spokesperson for the club explained, “£50m doesn’t buy you much these days – it’s barely two Marouane Fellainis – so raising that amount of money isn’t an issue.”

“Our Chairman, Khaldoon Al Mubarak, sent a suit to the dry cleaners with £11m in the pocket just last week, and this morning we found another £35m that had fallen down the back of the sofa in the boardroom.”

“The players dropped the remaining four million in the changing rooms before training this morning, so we’re all set.”

“Do you think UEFA would prefer a jar of coins, or a cheque?”

Manchester City UEFA fine

Supporters of other clubs have questioned the use of fines on clubs with unlimited financial resources, and wondered if this is just a money-making scheme.

Football fan Simon Williams told us, “If you get caught speeding, you get a fine AND you get points on your licence – it’s designed so that rich people don’t just go around speeding all the time.”

“But if they threw Manchester City out of Europe, that wouldn’t pay for any first class flights or business lunches for any UEFA officials, would it?”

“That said, if a billionaire Arab wants to buy my club, I’m all for it!”

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