Wednesday 7 May 2014

Halal protesters to draw line at boycott of favourite curry house


Halal Curry House

Protesters currently boycotting Subway and Pizza Express over their use of Halal meat have said they’ll still enjoy a Balti from their local curry house because ‘that is different’.

Having eaten Halal meat at curry houses for years, many of the protesters said boycotting their favourite curry would be stupid as “it’s made by foreigners anyway, innit.”

Unhappy consumer Simon Williams told us, “Curries are different, but you can’t get more British than a Pizza and a massive Subway Club sandwich, and that’s why I’m not happy.”

“I demand that any animals I eat on Pizzas and in sandwiches are killed in a way that I haven’t had to think about, so I can try to convince myself that they died in a kind and gentle way.”

“No, I don’t know exactly how the rest of my meat is raised and killed, that’s not the point – the point is that this is something done by foreigners and they’ve given it a funny sounding name, so it’s definitely worse.”

“I will stick to buying my meat products from places like Tesco where I will obviously know exactly what I’m eating.”

Halal protests

The subject of Halal meat in our food products is set to become a hot political issue, especially amongst those parties that have aligned themselves with a strong anti-foreigner sentiment.

A UKIP spokesperson explained, “This is just a further example of how the EU are allowing the brutal murder of animals to put meat in our sandwiches and Pizzas. Or something.”

“Bad EU. Vote UKIP.”

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