Wednesday 9 April 2014

Maria Miller claims pilfering tax payer money much easier from back benches


Maria Miller resigns

Former culture secretary Maria Miller has resigned from her cabinet post, explaining that it’s much easier to help yourself to taxpayer money if you’re not in the papers every single day.

Just days after apologising for the sort of thing most people would go to prison for, Miller has decided to resign her position as culture secretary in order to focus on doing things in places people aren’t interested in looking at.

Miller told reporters, “I have enjoyed my time as culture secretary, but frankly it’s almost impossible to steal anything any more, so I think it might be time to return the shadows and see what I can get my hands on there.”

“No-one ever breaks a story about a minor back bench MP fiddling their expenses, so hopefully I can get back to what I’m good at.”

Maria Miller resigns

Miller’s resignation has been welcomed by all people who don’t like to see criminals getting away with it.

Tax payer Simon Williams told us, “I’m glad she’s not in the cabinet and more, and losing her job is obviously a good thing.”

“But it’s just a shame no-one had the balls to take that job from her in the first place.”

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