Wednesday 26 March 2014 by Gary Stanton

Man United fans launch #NoTrophySelfie campaign


No trophy selfie

Plucky Man United fans are to raise millions of pounds for cancer charities by photographing themselves without a trophy.

After another abject surrender to bitter rivals Man City, brave supporters of the once-great club are lining up to be snapped next to their soon-to-be-empty trophy cabinet.

Thousands of loyal fans throughout southern England threw their collective weight behind the #notrophyselfie hashtag, which was immediately trending in throughout Surrey and the home counties.

With social networks flooded by United fans sharing photos with forced smiles in a vain attempt to conceal the fact that they are dying on the inside, the new trend has been welcomed throughout football.

Many United followers have tagged their fellow fans in the hope they too will share a #notrophyselfie.

Upon seeing a selfie, United fans can text the word “BEAT” to 90096 to donate as much as five pounds to a cancer charity of their choice, or the World Wildlife Fund.

However, many United fans claim they received an instant text message reply which read “Beat who exactly? Certainly no one in the top six.”

Man Utd selfies

Due to the massive similarity between the words BEAT and BEAR, fat-handed fans who adore polar bears were dismayed to learn they had texted their cash to not-so-cute-looking cancer victims.

Meanwhile, many of the club’s sufferers have likened David Moyes’ reign to an expensive but ultimately ineffective course of chemotherapy.

Man United season ticket holder Simon Williams told us, “Since Moyes took over I’ve been tearing my hair out in great big clumps.”

“People keep hugging me and ask me how long I’ve got.”

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