Hollywood blockbuster Noah is to be edited before release after Christian groups insisted that the made up story about Noah’s ark was different to their made up story about Noah’s ark.
With the Noah movie due for release later this month, Christian groups petitioned for changes to be made to ensure that all the made up bits are consistent with their favourite made up bits.
Christian Simon Williams told us, “We are insistent that made up depictions of things that never happened are inline with the fictional versions we think are important.”
“You can’t just go around making up things about things that were made up. It’s essential that the made up bits we read about in our book are the same as the made up bits we see on the big screen.”
“After all, in 2,000 years it’s possible that people will be pointing to this film as evidence Noah and the flood actually happened, so best we get the history exactly as we want it to appear.”
Noah movie ‘edited’
The studio producing the film have said they have done everything in their power to ensure their fictional depiction of a thing that never happened is in line with the Christian groups’ fictional account of a thing that never happened.
Marcus Goldberg explained, “Budgets are an issue, so too many CGI animals were out of the question when the Christian group insisted we show two of absolutely everything.”
“No mention of predators and prey being cooped up in same vicinity of course, that would be a crazy thing for them to worry about.”
“Still, a Christian’s money is the same as anyone elses, so as long as they buy a ticket we’ll be happy.”