Monday 10 March 2014

Alex Salmond claims Scotland will adopt bitcoin


Scotland to use Bitcoin

Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has insisted an independent Scotland would adopt bitcoin as its currency if the UK government continues to refuse access to sterling.

Salmond told reporters he wasn’t sure he even wanted to use sterling any more, insisting that he’d heard good things about bitcoin and its ability to make financial transactions easier.

He told those gathered, “Scotland will be the first nation in the world to adopt bitcoin as its main currency, a move that will almost certainly see investors flock to our shores.”

“So to those sceptics who said I had no Plan B when it comes to Scotland’s currency, I say ‘Ha!'”

“I have weighed up my options and decided that no-one can tell me I can’t have bitcoin, so it’s definitely the best currency there is.”

“Sterling is definitely overrated anyway, and I didn’t really want it in the first place and anyone who says I did is lying.”

“Oh yes they are.”

Scotland’s currency options

Scottish residents have welcomed the announcement, claiming that the adoption of bitcoin as their legal tender will make everything seem cheaper.

Glaswegian Simon Williams told us, “I think paying 0.008 bitcoins for a pint of strong lager will definitely make it seem much cheaper, right?”

“I mean, 0.008 is much less than three-fifty. I’ve only got a grade C at GCSE Maths, but even I can see that.”

“Plus, if Alex Salmond says it’s right for Scotland, then it must be right for Scotland.”

“Look, as long as they take bitcoin at the off licence then I’m happy with it.”

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