Monday 17 February 2014

Alex Salmond claims he has every right to use gym he’s no longer member of


Alex Salmond on Scottish currency

Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has rejected claims by Virgin Active that no longer being a member of their club means that he can’t use their equipment any time he likes.

Salmond told reporters that it was ‘incredibly arrogant’ of Virgin Active to think that just because he cancelled his membership that he no longer had a right to use treadmills, bikes and attend classes whenever he wants.

He went on, “I have been a member for many, many years, so why they think everything in the club is for the exclusive use of the remaining members is completely beyond me.”

“I contributed to that club, and just because I decided to leave doesn’t mean I should lose my right to go in there and put my sweaty paws all of their kit as I see fit.”

“I can’t believe they called the police when I tried to take that rowing machine back to Scotland with me.”

“Such arrogance, and the people of Scotland will back me on this, I am quite sure.”

Alex Salmond club membership

Members of the health club have reacted with surprise at the sight of Alex Salmond trying to unscrew equipment from the floor of a club he didn’t want to be a member of any more.

Long time member Simon Williams told us, “Let’s be honest, he was never that enthusiastic a member any way, so I’m not surprised he wants to leave. He was fun at the social events – that man certainly likes a drink – but that was about it.”

“If he wants to stay as a member then I’d happily have him on the cross trainer next to me, like any other member.”

“But if he insists on leaving then maybe he should think about heading to Argos to get one of those cheap European knock-off exercise bikes.”

“I hear they’re very popular on the continent.”

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