Monday 3 February 2014

Heston Blumenthal customers continuing to vomit at sight of the bill


Heston Blumenthal food poisoning

Customers at Heston Blumenthal’s Michelin-starred Dinner at the Mandarin Oriental hotel on Hyde Park are continuing to fall ill at the mere sight of their bill.

The restaurant hit the headlines over the weekend with a spate of customers having taken ill after eating from the much in-demand menu.

One customer, Simon Williams of Dalston told us, “The meal was okay I suppose. Weird. But okay.”

“But then they brought out the bill, and I started looking at all the numbers on the right hand side and where they’d added them up at the bottom.”

“Suddenly I felt a bit light-headed, and really quite nauseous.”

“As I handed over my credit card to pay I couldn’t hold it in any more, and I vomited all over the floor.”

Heston customers vomiting

The restaurant, made famous by the highly imaginative chef serving dishes such as sheep excrement soufflé and creosote enchiladas, charges up to £60 for a main course.

Mr Williams’ bill, for two dinners and wine came to £290.

“I still feel a bit sick at the thought of it to be honest, even now, three days later,” he added.

“We could have gone to the Harvester up the road for less than a tenner each and still had £260 to spend on something more fun than eating a series of tiny things I’m not even convinced were food.”

“But no, the missus insisted I take her ‘somewhere nice’ for our anniversary.”

Luckily, Mrs. Williams was spared the nauseating effects of the bill, and has said she looks forward to eating there again once her husband fully recovers.

“Can you make sure all my friends get a copy of this article so they know I’ve eaten there?” she concluded.

Mr Blumenthal was too busy sautéing a turnip in gasoline to comment.

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