Wednesday 29 January 2014

Women’s cricket is miles better anyway, claim Barmy Army


Womens Ashes cricket

English cricket fans down under have responded to Ashes taunts from the triumphant Australians by pointing out that the women’s team has thoroughly dismantled their Australian counterparts.

While Alastair Cook’s team have failed dismally, the English women left that achievement in the shadows, trouncing Australia’s ladies in emphatic fashion to win their version of the Ashes.

“Who’s crying now, eh?” asked one smiling barmy army member.

“Sure, I’ll admit I was a little upset when our boys failed to register so much as a draw during the series, but I really couldn’t care less about that now.”

“Our girls were absolutely awe-inspiring, and they’ve really stuck it to those Sheilas.”

“Women cricketers are much better than men at all facets of the game anyway – well, apart from the sledging. I overheard one of our bowlers asking the Australian bats-woman why she was so fat.”

“She responded by explaining that it was her time of the month and something about excessive water retention?”

Women’s cricket better

Australia fans were left visibly crestfallen at the England ladies team’s victory, with some even reduced to tears.

“I’m absolutely distraught,” wept Shane Williams from Adelaide.

“I was really happy after our lads won the Ashes but we all know that this was the big one.”

“Those bloody gloating Poms will never let me hear the end of it.”

Australian batswoman Alex Blackwell was philosophical about the crushing defeat which has rocked her nation.

“It’s hard to take, and I realise we’ve let so many people down,” she admitted.

“But what we have to realise is that we were playing the legendary England ladies and they are a far, far better team than their men’s side.”

“They also had an English cricket captain at the top of their game and scoring runs for fun, which is the first time that has been said in quite a while.”

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