Thursday 23 January 2014

Manchester United expected to clean up at British Comedy Awards


Manchester United, comedy

Premier League champions Manchester United are now the bookies favourite for Comedy Act of the Year at the 2014 British Comedy Awards.

Despite the year being only three weeks old, comedy veterans have admitted that topping the hilarity of “a night at Old Trafford” is simply not something anyone in the comedy industry is capable of.

Last year’s winner Jack Whitehall told reporters, “Winning is 2013 was an amazing experience, but I might as well take the rest of the year off when you look at the laughs Moyes is getting out of that squad.”

“He’s a comedy genius, clearly. I’d have looked at that squad in the summer and thought there’s not a single chuckle to be had among them, and yet here we are six months later with half the nation literally crying with mirth.”

“It’s not even that he’s made them slapstick funny, it’s the timing. You couldn’t have written last night’s performance any better.”

“I just hope they don’t go into sitcoms, or I’m buggered! Ha, that’s funny because I sound posh and a bit effeminate.”

Manchester United comedy award

Fans of other football clubs have admitted that smiling during Manchester United matches is something of an unusual feeling, until you realise David Moyes must be doing it for your entertainment.

Liverpool fan Simon Williams told us, “Watching a Man Utd game has always been ranked somewhere between a visit to the dentist and a prostate exam.  Unpleasant, predictable and endured next to someone who seems to be enjoying it.”

“But now I’m actively seeking out Man Utd matches, they’re brilliant! Last night a bit of wee came out, I swear to God.”

“I imagine that come Christmas their season in review DVD will beat even Jimmy Carr’s latest release. I know I’ll be asking for it.”

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