Thursday 16 January 2014

Kelvin McKenzie insists international news needs more tits


Former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie last night told the Newsnight audience that people don’t care about international news because it doesn’t contain enough female breasts.

Appearing on the show to explain how he knows everything there is to know about the public’s appetite for current affairs, MacKenzie said video coverage of Syrian refugees could be improved with the inclusion of a topless Amber, 23, from Basildon.

“Human tragedy from around the world is actually really boring,” MacKenzie explained to Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman.

“I learned lesson this during my time as a proper journalist on that proper newspaper, The Sun, when I was reporting proper news.”

“Why should I care about what happens in the central African region if it doesn’t have a pretty women with no clothes on to tell me what she thinks about it in the form of a weak pun?”

“If you want people to care about what’s happening in South Sudan, and to watch the footage you’ve filmed there, have it presented by a buxom young thing who doesn’t know any better than to get her tits out on demand.”

“It’s what the people want.”

McKenzie on Newsnight

Viewers have expressed surprise that McKenzie didn’t also mention that lying about people from Liverpool is another good way to report the news.

Newspaper reader Simon Williams told us,”Topless women is one angle, but I’m surprised he didn’t mention the best way to report deaths in Afghanistan is to blame some Scousers.”

“I’m sure he’d happily remind you that such an approach to reporting the news always shifted a few more copies in his day.”

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