Wednesday 8 January 2014

Amstrad unveils innovative ‘Cathode Ray Tube’ TV at CES


Amstrad Television CES

British technology giant Amstrad has today unveiled its innovative new ‘Cathode Ray Tube’ television at the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas.

The new device has been hailed as a ‘complete media entertainment centre’ for people who only need six channels and don’t mind getting out of their chair to switch between them.

Former Amstrad chairman Sir Alan Sugar spoke of his excitement at the announcement, telling reporters, “Finally the Amstrad name is once again synonymous with technological innovation.

“There has been a move towards thin concave curved screens in recent times, but Amstrad have yet again pioneered the use of convex screens that bring a better viewing experience for people sat in the 1980s.”

Amstrad spokesperson Simon Williams explained, “With our incredible 3D touchscreen-like control mechanism – or ‘channel knob’ as our techies call it – you can select from any one of six channels by simply rotating the dial until something appears on-screen.

“The new television will offer 6 entirely accessible channels, all viewable in sequence once it warms up a bit.

“No, it doesn’t have Netflix.”

Amstrad television

Early demos of the system have left reporters excited about the potential market amongst hipsters.

As one technology analyst explained, “The aesthetic of the supporting wooden case will complement even the most discerning hipster, offering a true retro feel whilst embracing genuine 1970s technology.”

Amstrad’s Williams concluded, “We’ve also introduced what we’re calling the ‘percussive diagnostic system’ – a feature which aims to improve the picture when you bang on the side of the wooden box.

“We think hardcore gamers and the iPad generation will really appreciate this feature, and we wouldn’t be surprised to see Apple have a ‘bang to reboot’ option on their next model.”

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