Monday 6 January 2014

Church fury over removal of favourite supervillain from popular ‘baptism’ franchise


Devil removed from Church baptism service

Fans of the Church of England have reacted with anger at the removal of super baddie ‘The Devil’ from their favourite baptism fairy story.

In the latest reboot of the popular ‘baptism’ franchise, parents will no longer be asked if they reject the devil, just evil in general.

However, with the Devil having been an important part of the Church of England mythology for centuries, many hardcore fans are insisting that his removal would be like having a Superman story without Lex Luthor.

Church fan Simon Williams told us, “Look, the Devil is a massive character in the Jesus universe, and you can’t just get rid of him – no matter what the focus groups say. This is almost as bad as the time they rebranded him with horns and a tail.”

“Spiderman doesn’t fight ‘evil in general’, does he?, the Avengers didn’t get together to fight ‘evil in general’.  They both needed a baddie, hopefully one with superpowers and an evil lair – both of which the Devil has in spades.”

“Jesus is the same. Without his arch-enemy he’s just a super-nice guy in a silly costume.”

“I imagine box office receipts will be down below expectations for this particular reboot, and we’ll probably see previous incumbent Rowan Williams back to direct any further sequels.”

Devil ‘killed off’

Critics have said the killing off of the devil is just a headline grabber hoping to drive sales, and that he is likely to reappear in other parts of the story, a bit like Dirty Den coming back on Eastenders.

Fairy story analyst Marcus James told us, “This is like when DC comics killed off Superman in 1992. There was a long drawn out saga before he returned to great fanfare and the delight of the fans.”

“The Devil’s return to the Jesus universe will be no different.”

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