Thursday 2 January 2014

Morning ruined after finding a Bulgarian sat at your desk


Bulgarian immigrant workers here today

Your job has been given to a Bulgarian immigrant who has already put his stuff all over your desk, according to the Daily Mail this morning.

As the borders opened to Bulgarian and Romanian immigrants, the Mail explained how your job has already been taken by a dirty foreigner offering to do your job for less even, and you can’t stop them because they are foreign and not from here.

However UKIP supporter Simon Williams said the problems didn’t end here, with thousands of Romanians jumping to the head of the benefits queue and many already securing eight-bedroom council houses and hundreds of thousands of pounds in state handouts.

Williams told us, “Not only am I expecting to find one sat at my desk, doing my job for half my wage, but now my taxes will have to go up to pay for the millions of benefit scroungers coming here in their droves.”

“UKIP is the only party that can stop foreign looking people taking every single job in the country and becoming millionaires due to state benefit handouts.”

“What? Well, no, my job hasn’t actually been taken by a Bulgarian or Romanian yet, but it’s only a matter of time! It says so in the Daily Mail!”

Bulgarians now here

Of the Bulgarians to arrive in the UK this new year, plumber Aleksandar Bakalov told us, “I have no interest in your tedious desk job and no idea why a pitiful existence revolving around paying off a mortgage on a vastly overpriced semi is in any way something that I’d actually want?”

“I can live like a king for £20k a year in Bulgaria, so I’ll just come over here with my valuable skillset, perform a service for a reasonable price, pay my taxes, and probably head home with my savings in a couple of years – if that’s OK?”

“But that’s just not newsworthy I guess.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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