Wednesday 11 December 2013

Church of Scientology no less ridiculous than all the other churches, rules Supreme Court


A couple will be allowed to marry in a church of Scientology after a judge declared their method of worship no less ridiculous than all the others.

Two Scientologists took legal action after officials refused to recognise batshit crazy church as a place of worship with rights to hold a marriage ceremony.

After the case was heard the judge told the court, “Having a building where you speak to the non-existent entity of your choice is a very personal matter.”

“And it is entirely up to you whether you think that this entity is the zombie love-child of the creator of the universe, or a time-travelling lizard alien from the planet Xanu.”

“Those people who are saying that ‘scientology is not a proper religion like mine’ are somewhat missing the point.”

“If we’re going to put all religions under proper legal scrutiny I think you’d find that pretty soon there wouldn’t be any religions left at all.”

Scientology Church marriage to go ahead

Religious people have criticised the ruling, loudly insisting that their fairy story is much more believable than the nonsense made up by Scientologists.

Christian Simon Williams told us, “I’ve got a two thousand year old book as evidence of my religion.”

“The fact that it’s been re-written dozens of times over the centuries and contains claims that have been positively refuted by ongoing scientific discovery is completely irrelevant – the book is proof that my religion is the true one.”

However the judge concluded, “To say that someone can’t get married in their own church because their religion’s origin story is slightly less plausible than your own, is definitely discriminatory.”

“Thankfully in this country we’re free to lead our lives subject to any old made up nonsense that we so choose.”

“It looks slightly frightening to say it out loud like that, but unfortunately it’s the truth.”

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