Monday 9 December 2013

Can you review our pay and conditions next, nurses ask MP salary watchdog


The government’s MP salary watchdog IPSA has been asked by nurses across the country if they could take a look at their pay and conditions when they get five minutes.

After suggesting an unprecedented pay rise for MPs due in 2015, nurses have told anyone willing to listen that they wouldn’t mind having their pay slips given the once over by the same independent body.

Nurse Jackie Williams told us, “I think people have been far too quick to criticise the MPs over their pay rise, after all, IPSA hasn’t had a chance to review anyone else’s salary and benefits yet.”

“It might be that when they look at the other taxpayer-funded salaries, 9% might actually be on the low side?”

“I’m just saying that we nurses would welcome a pay review from anyone who can take a cursory look at the pay of an MP and decide they are woefully underpaid.”

“It’s that type of analytical, value based insight that has clearly been missing from our salary negotiations all these years.”

Nurses request IPSA review

Many nurses have suggested that they scrap their union membership and instead appoint IPSA to manage negotiations during pay reviews moving forward.

As one nurse explained, “I pay my union fees for a measly 1% pay rise? It seems IPSA can get you double-digit pay rises for no fees at all. I know who I’d rather be in bed with.”

However an IPSA spokesperson was left confused when asked how their proposed MP pay rises are going to be paid for.

They told reporters, “Wait, are you suggesting we have to actually find the money for these pay rises?”

“I thought we just printed any extra money we need? That’s how George Osborne told us it worked.”

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