Monday 2 December 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Amazon-Delivery-Man’s order completion superpower ‘unrealistic’, claim comic fans


Marvel Comics has launched its latest superhero, Amazon-Delivery-Man, who can complete one employee’s order preparation schedule for the online retailer without seeing his hourly rate drop below the minimum wage.

Fan forums have been awash with claims Marvel have brought fantasy-fiction into disrepute, with readers dismissing the new superhero’s ability to complete a full Amazon warehouse shift without exhausting the universe’s remaining sources of Kryptonite.

Comic fan, Arnold Sparse, said he was ‘disappointed’ with the publishers decision to tarnish the reputations of other much-loved super-heroes, who powers were altogether more believable.

He told us, “A man entering a phone box as a journalist and leaving it in a cape and y-fronts as an all-conquering super alien being – certainly.”

“A high school student firing web from his hands and sticking resolutely to ceilings all day long – sure, I’ve got no problem with that.”

“But a human being entering an Amazon warehouse, collecting his pile of orders and completing all of them, up and down the aisles of this vast warehouse, within the 8 hour time frame required to make his flat day rate equate to the minimum wage?”

“Just what kind of fools do Marvel take us for?”

“They can cancel my subscription right now.”

Amazon superhero

Amazon employee, Michael Marks, said that whilst he welcomed the super-hero comparisons, Amazon-Delivery-Man had more chance of receiving an organ transplant from an amoeba, than completing his order preparation within 8-hours.

“This character is completely unrealistic – and would frankly make a tedious movie.”

“Marvel should instead consider ‘Working-For-a-Pre-Decimalisation-Wage-Man.”

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