Thursday 28 November 2013

Your IQ is definitely linked to your bank balance, confirms Boris Johnson


The nation’s stupidest people could improve their IQ if only their families had lots of money, claimed London mayor Boris Johnson this morning.

After delivering the annual Margaret Thatcher speech at the Centre for Policy Studies, Johnson explained that having a low IQ is no barrier to success in life if your parents can afford to send you to Eton.

Johnson told the assembled audience, “An IQ below 85 is not the economic death sentence it once was, rich parents can send stupid children to the very best schools, ensuring that complete morons like many of my colleagues can still rise to the very top in their chosen field.”

“Or they could just become career politicians.”

“In fact, if you think about it, filling our best private schools with the inbred simpleton children of multi-millionaires is proof that a low IQ is actually no barrier at all to success in this country.”

“Unlike being poor, which means you’re essentially screwed from the moment you’re born.”

Boris Johnson IQ

Supporters of those with low IQs have defended Boris Johnson’s comments, insisting that his own party is the perfect example of what can be achieved with a room of low IQs – if you have enough money.

Volunteer Simon Williams told us, “I work with people with low IQs all the time, and they can be very resourceful. Look at George Osborne – has the IQ of a block of cheese, but it hasn’t stopped him, has it?”

“I think Boris has it quite right, not everyone can be economically successful. You really need rich parents for that.”

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