Friday 22 November 2013 by Yikes

Annoying twats begin reciting Monty Python press conference verbatim


People who were initially indifferent about the planned Monty Python reunion are now virtually suicidal as they start to hear annoying twats reciting the entire press conference verbatim.

Julia Smith from Chester, who hates deceased parrots and is not at all surprised by the Spanish Inquisition, said she was worried that the reunion would spark her husband Brian off on tedious monologues recounting complete sketches and episodes.

She claimed she was also fearful that he might subject her to a movie-length renditions of Monty Python’s most easily quotable hits.

Smith told reporters, “But I didn’t expect the entire press conference verbatim – no one expects the entire press conference verbatim,”

Smith also claimed that she got a large kitchen knife and proceeded to cut off her husband’s arms to make him shut up – but that it didn’t work.

Nor did chopping off his legs, apparently, as her husband insisted on continuing to spout further John Cleese ‘witticisms’ in her general direction.

Smith concluded, “Only by giving Brian a wafer-thin mint did I finally stop him, but it took most of the day to clean up the mess.”

One-upmanship

In a display of one-upmanship, some Python fans quoted the entire press conference in French or Latin, while others recounted it using sign language.

Keith Edwards from Oldham even managed to recite the press conference for 24 hours straight while doing a silly walk in a bowler hat.

When questioned whether he was taking things a bit seriously, Edwards was defiant.

“Monty Python is no laughing matter.”

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