Monday 21 October 2013 by James Andrews

Humpty Dumpty could have been put back together again, claims Labour


Humpty Dumpty could have and would have been put back together again under a Labour government claims Labour leader Ed Miliband.

Speaking from St Catherine’s Primary School in Kent yesterday, the leader of the opposition told children that under a Labour government Humpty would still be alive and well.

Miliband was using the Year 1 assembly to draw attention to things that other people had broken, but which he knows how to mend.

He rounded on the Conservatives for breaking many other things, telling the children, “A broken NHS, a broken educational system, a broken police force and now a broken nursery rhyme character.”

“Humpty Dumpty was broken, but we would have fixed him.”

Miliband fixes it

During the speech Miliband launched a vicious attack on the coalition government for allowing the King’s Horses a lead role in the salvage operation, calling the decision to use cloven footed animals for the delicate rescue attempt as ‘inexplicable and ludicrous’.

After the 20 minute speech, which ran slightly into first break, Miliband received a grilling from a room full of five and six-year-olds.

Questioning centred on why the opposition leader hadn’t brought his dog Gromit with him, and why he kept saying ‘bwoken’ instead of ‘broken’.

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