Wednesday 18 September 2013

Lib Dems could offer everyone gold bullion for all the good it will do, claim voters


Election promises by the Liberal Democrats such as free school meals for all children are not worth the fag packet they were scribbled on, according to voters.

With the Liberal Democrat conference now in full ‘swing’, election promises have begun emerging with leading Lib Dems seemingly oblivious to the fact they have absolutely no chance of winning an election.

Voter Steve Matthews explained, “Every single election promise comes with the caveat of ‘unless we enter a coalition and have to give up all our policies for a fleeting taste of meagre power’.”

“If you’re giving yourself a massive get-out clause like that, why not go for it big style? Promise everyone diamond shoes, or a timeshare of Buckingham Palace?”

“If everyone already knows that you’re not going to be held to any promise you make anyway, at least make them interesting.”

Lib Dem conference

Voters who may have considered the Lib Dems in the past said they should focus on what they can do, rather than what they can’t.

“Why not just say ‘We can’t really promise anything, but we will definitely try to stop the Tories being such bastards, and Labour such twats if we make a coalition’? At least that’s honest.”

“Now, if they had the balls to come out and say, ‘this election promise is non-negotiable’ – and that any coalition they’re in will HAVE to adopt it, I’d at least have some begrudging respect for them.”

“But they won’t. Or, knowing them, they’ll promise something that the other two have already promised as well.”

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