Friday 13 September 2013

Prince William considering ‘life on benefits’


Prince William to claim benefits

Prince William is considering a life on benefits after learning he could live comfortably for the rest of his life on state handouts.

Despite a successful career in the armed forces, William has learned that a series of generous unearned entitlements means he doesn’t have to work if he doesn’t want to.

The Prince told a source, “I’ve heard of the so-called ‘benefit culture’ this country apparently suffers from, but I didn’t realise it was so incredibly lucrative.”

“This ‘civil list’ seems overly generous if you ask me. I don’t even have to sign on, they just give it to you.”

“I honestly don’t see how the country isn’t completely broke giving out cash for nothing like this?”

“And I’m not putting words into anyone’s mouth but there’s hardly any incentive to get a job if I can sit on my arse all day and still pick up a few hundred grand a year, is there?”

Prince William on benefits

However a life on benefits isn’t as easy as certain sections of the media would have you believe, according to some who have struggled to survive on state handouts.

Former state benefit recipient Sarah Ferguson told us, “Being on benefits isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Once you’ve been on a couple of holidays, had a few bespoke suits made, and stayed in some of the nicest houses in the country – that couple of hundred grand really doesn’t go very far.”

“He had better find himself a back-up plan, like re-marrying someone who gets more benefits than he does.”

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