Tuesday 3 September 2013

Nokia celebrates deadline day transfer by posing for fans outside Microsoft offices


Nokia’s phone business has celebrated its deadline day transfer from Nokia by posing in a Microsoft shirt for shareholders outside its new headquarters.

Nokia spoke of its excitement at the £4.6bn move, and how it was hoping to repay the faith shown in it by the Microsoft management.

“I’ve had an amazing 30 years at Nokia, but I think most people would say I’ve gone a bit stale, so it’s time to move on and prove myself again at one of the biggest companies in the world.”

“I’m sure the Nokia fans will understand, and I hope they look back fondly at all I did for them in those halcyon days in the late 90s and early noughties. They were magical times.”

“But now I look forward and can’t wait to get started with my new team and show I am definitely worth the money.”

“I’ve passed a stringent three-year forensic medical, so I’m ready to deliver, I promise. I will not be another Juan Sebastian Veron.”

Microsoft buys Nokia

Industry analysts have said the move reeks of desperation on the part of Microsoft as the former giant has struggled to attract the big names to its team in recent years.

Simon Williams explained, “If you’re a Microsoft season ticket holder, I mean shareholder, then this move is hardly likely to excite you.”

“The star players are out there, but it doesn’t seem the Microsoft management have the ambition required to push their team on, despite clearly having the money to spend.”

“There’s a reason they’re called the Arsenal of the tech world.”

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