Tuesday 27 August 2013

Syrian rebels thank media for Miley Cyrus VMA coverage


Syrian rebels have thanked news organisations around the world for their incredible blanket coverage of Miley Cyrus’ VMA appearance.

Cyrus performed at the Video Music Awards alongside Robin Thicke, with many Syrian rebels claiming they would have had no idea such a planet defining event was even happening if major news outlets had not pushed it to the top of their websites.

One rebel spoke from behind his gas mask to tell us that, “Some things are too important to let the battle for our childrens’ lives take precedent.”

“Sure, my next breath could be my last, but you lot probably already know that – how many of you even knew the VMAs existed before yesterday?”

“Illegal use of chemical weapons is one thing, but twerking onstage in a pair of skin coloured underwear? This changes everything.”

“Do you think she could twerk her way to downtown Damascus?”

Miley Cyrus at the VMAs

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad said the VMA coverage of Miley Cyrus performing in very little indeed had helped him win further hearts and minds around the world.

He told news agencies, “So many of you made this your lead story, and yet you continue to wonder why we don’t want the West and its influence to take over.”

“Morons.”

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