Monday 12 August 2013

UK criticised by humanitarian groups for threatening Spain with ‘lawyers’


The UK has been criticised by humanitarian groups around the world after the escalating crisis surrounding Gibraltar saw it threaten Spain with ‘lawyers’.

In a move designed frighten Spanish authorities, the UK has said it will not hesitate in deploying large numbers of well-suited individuals charging up to £500 an hour just to be introduced to you in a meeting.

Prime Minister David Cameron told reporters, “We have been left with little choice by the Spanish authorities.  The deployment of lawyers is not something we, or any civilised society takes lightly, but we will not hesitate.”

“Like any Prime Minister, I can only hope my tenure is remembered for the good I tried to do, and not my deployment of lawyers against the Spanish.”

“We know the carnage lawyers can cause in a struggling economy, and hopefully the Spanish will not force our hand.”

“But rest assured, we have been stockpiling lawyers for just such a situation, and they are well-trained and ready to begin billing. We are in this for the long haul.”

Cameron threatens lawyers

Spanish reports indicate their government will not give in, and will bravely face the barrage of lawyers thrown in its direction.

As one official told us, “Mr Cameron is rightly being condemned. Do you know which phrase never appears in the history books? ‘Thank God for all those lawyers’. And rightly so.”

“We may eventually be defeated by his evil bureaucratic weaponry, but we will go down disputing timesheets. Mark my words.”

“History will judge you Mr Cameron, history will judge you well.”

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