Thursday 8 August 2013

Calls for out of town ‘smoking camps’ intensify


The government should provide specialist facilities for smokers to go and enjoy their cigarettes away from everyone else, according to non-smokers this morning.

With pub gardens fast becoming ‘smoking gardens’, many have called for smoking camps to be set up in out of town locations where smokers can go to inhale as many legal products as they like.

Anti-smoking campaigner Simon Williams told us, “It’s not about alienating smokers, you have to understand that.”

“We could put on free trains for them, and give them a badge or something, maybe a star, then we could send them out into the country where they can spend time with people just like themselves.”

“They’d have to work for the free accommodation, obviously, but nothing too strenuous.”

“But they shouldn’t be mixing with the rest of us, really.  And it’s not discrimination if they’re actually different. They smell really bad, for a start.”

Smoking gardens

Smokers have referred to moves to ban them from pub gardens as being reminiscent of the Nazis.

Committed smoker Neil Smith told us, “We’re being treated like second class citizen, rather than just the people with a truly disgusting anti-social habit that we are.”

“But if a coalition of friendly countries wants to find a nice strip of land to give us, somewhere nice and warm, then we wouldn’t mind.”

“Then we could smoke to our hearts content. Unless it drifted over the wall into next door.”

“I imagine that would cause some friction.”

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